Garden Geek

By Andrea Rennick

Somewhere along the course of my life I went from a City Kid to a Garden Geek. I know I am a Garden Geek because an opportunity to go to any nursery makes me positively drool.

I have gone from preferring concrete and asphalt, to not minding dirt under my uneven fingernails. I also went from squeamish girlhood to not minding a few bugs being around. (Although I still hate grubs and refuse to pick up worms.)

I can now do a pretty good impersonation of that wooden cutout you sometimes see on people’s lawns, especially in the country. You know the one I mean. All I need to wear is a pair of polka dotted bloomers and no one can tell the difference when I bend over.

I’ve gone from High Fashion to looking forward to the Lee Valley catalogue’s garden supplement.

Footwear now has three important categories: Can I trudge around in the dirt without them filling up? Can I get them on and off easy, preferably without bending over? And does any dirt cake in the treads?

Recently, after a small procedure in Day Surgery, I thought it was a pretty good idea to be outside trimming the grass up against the side of my house with a pair of household scissors. It may have been some lingering effects of the anaesthetic, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Either way, it looks really nice out there.

I sat myself down, right on the ground, and snipped away happily, if a little drowsily, giving my lawn a haircut around my climbing hydrangeas. I managed to leave the important things, and happily discovered my Chinese Lanterns came back after being devoured by nasty bugs last season. Somehow, I didn't remember them having psychedelic colors before.

The Big Red (okay, Brown) Barn is holding gardening seminars every Saturday, and not only do I have them noted on our family calendar, we’re actually scheduling family activities around them.

I take copious notes and ask Clyde silly questions like, “Why do my white roses have a red streak on them?” He had many reasonable answers, but it turns out I forgot to mention the part where the kids buried our recently deceased pet goldfish underneath it.

Speaking of roses, we recently discovered a long-neglected area of rosebushes. It was near the road and hadn’t bloomed because it was under so much other brush and leaves and gravel. I think it took three days to clean up.

While raking and shovelling, I came across a small dog collar under a half-wheelbarrow load of gravel. I continued raking up, while my son looked around.

"Cool!" he says, "What's this?"

And holds up a skull.

That looks like it came from a small dog.

I was done for the night, then.

I’ve also done countless sketches of our yard, or various sections, laying out current and future plantings with more care than a military manoeuvre. I haven’t quite drawn them to scale, or with little moveable pieces to rearrange. I’m saving that for the long days of winter.

I’m a little worried, though. I bemoaned to my hyper-neat grandmother on how gravel and sand is deposited on my front lawn all winter, and hard to get rid of come spring. She shared her secret, and since the dandelions flourish in this area, I’m starting to think that taking a Shop-Vac to the front lawn really is a good way to remove the extra sand.

Maybe I do need some help. Not only is my thumb green, I think it is starting to sprout.

Andrea Rennick is a home schooling mom of four children, ranging in age from 2 to 15. A sense of humour is a big part of dealing with the ins and outs of her day. She can also be found at her website, www.atypicalife.net. Reach her at andrea@atypicalife.net