"A Goal is a Dream with A Deadline!"
by Joanne Colepaugh

The number one reason people do not succeed in reaching their goals is fear!!

Let me illustrate this point with a story about a young boy.

When he was in grade 2 - over 40 years ago, his teachers thought he was very slow and labelled him as "retarded". In those days, this was a term used to describe students who could not work within the limits of the school system. He failed that year and struggled through his elementary years believing that he was truly stupid, despite the encouragement from his parents. He went on to fail in his grade 5 year as well. He never did well in any subjects but French was his worst subject. Growing up in Quebec, this would pose quite a few problems for him as you can imagine. When he finally made it to high school, he took all of the simple courses, but schools being what they are, it was necessary that he take some math courses or he could not graduate. He felt horrible about school, feeling physically ill most mornings and emotionally rotten all the time.

One day in his grade 11 year, he found that his sister (4 years his junior), knew more about his math courses than he did. On this day, he went to his locker, cleaned it out and turned in his books to the office. He walked home with a heavy heart knowing that he would never amount to anything - just like his grade 2 teacher had always said.

He waited for his mother to return home from work (his father had died a few years previous). He expected her to yell, scream or insist he return to school. Instead, she listened calmly to his story of humiliation and despair. Being the woman she was, she did not pull her son to her and tell him everything would be alright - instead, she told him that since he had made up his mind she would support him but he had exactly 30 days to either find a decent job or he would have to join the army.

He tried to find a job, but as you can imagine, decent jobs are hard to come by without a high school diploma, particularly if you believe you are stupid to begin with. So, the day came when this young, skinny boy with long hair boarded a bus to join the army. His shoulders were slumped and his face showed his immense fear of leaving home.

When the boy returned home three months later, his family met him at the bus station. The man getting off the bus held little resemblance to the boy who had left a few months previous. He was very tall, with a perfect posture. His body had grown and his once scrawny neck was now massive. His once long, scraggly hair, was now buzzed, showing off a most magnificent face full of confidence and pride in himself.

The stories he told his family were filled with determination and effort. Nothing came easy to him in the army at first, but he found a sense of self that he had not experienced since he was very small. During the following few months with the army, he completed high school and graduated with honours. He became a military policeman and dedicated his service to youth at risk in Kingston, Ontario. He set up places for kids to play and learn on the military base.

He eventually left the army and became a very successful businessman in computers - developing and marketing software packages. Not bad for a "retarded kid." I didn't make up this story - this is a true story of my brother Ron.

The moral of this story is not simple - it speaks of how easy it is for us to believe the untruths people tell us, it speaks of what low self esteem can do to us, and, finally, it speaks of how great things come out of fear. Sometimes, when we are feeling low and very, very afraid we might fail, we need to take a deep breath - and just get on that bus!!

How about you - what are some things that you would like to do but are very afraid to try? Or perhaps there is something you always wanted to do but you were told that you could not accomplish.

There are some simple steps you can take to help you reach your goals.

1. What is it that you really want? (this can change over time)
2. What steps will I have to do to get there? (this can be very long and detailed - you may have to do some research)
3. Visualise your success - really see it!
4. Do it - and don't give up

Have you ever heard of visualisation - or the art of "seeing is believing?" You see Tiger Woods do it before each shot or you see Elvis Stojko doing it before every event. Actually, it is difficult to see because we are not in the minds of these people, but they are actually visualising their success. Visualisation is a very powerful tool.

A recent study took 75 basketball camp kids and divided them into three groups of 25. One group spent the three weeks practising shots for one hour a day, one group spent the three weeks doing absolutely nothing related to basketball and the last group did visualisation exercises for one hour per day only.

After the three weeks, the group that practised daily improved their shots by 10%, the group that did nothing, did not improve at all and the group that did visualisation improved by almost 50%.

There are many great articles available on the art of visualisation - very simply, you should practice seeing yourself achieving your goal. Over time and with some effort, you will not only see your goal - it will be a reality!

Jo Ann Colepaugh has been facilitating programs, workshops and seminars to groups of all sizes and from many diverse backgrounds for over 10 years. Her seminar topics are meant to inspire and motivate the participants. For information on seminar topics, rates, etc., Jo Ann can be reached via e-mail at jocole@nb.sympatico.ca, by phone at 506-622-0398 or via surface mail at P.O. Box 190, Pineville, NB, E9E 2G6